Memphis is a wonderful city. The beauty and intrigue that each citizen bringz is unbelievably unique. The purpose of this blog is to give outsiders a chance to enjoy everything Memphis has to offer. Enjoy strangers... and don't be jealous!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010


I found this beauty while I was out shopping for Christ's b-day blast-o-la.

Nothing says 'cash money' like poorly aligned letters on a 97 Honda Accord

I don't even know what that means? "Pooh" like Winnie the Pooh? Or does she truly mean a lady's poopie? And why place it there on the car? Why the dollar sign? Lord I have so many questions. I see many sleepless nights ahead....

Lady Poo ya'll
I'm out.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

And I Thought I was Numero Uno?

I don't know anything about el sabor. But I am intrigued....

I found this sign in the goddamn middle of nowhere. I guess that's why this sausage brand (I have never heard of) can afford the location.

Don't advertise for your cheap meat in the creepy fields outside the industrial district.

Mexican Fail.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Rule Number Six

In Memphis, sometimes you have to spell out the obvious.

Um... yea... I saw something weird.
There's some cat outside in a pink van snatching up kids.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

I Gotz Ice Cream Cones!

And if you fiends wanna lick, it's gonna cost you 20 bones!

They 10's, they 10's, but I keepz dem clean though.

What's better than being an ice cream man and driving an ice cream truck you ask?
Well, I will tell you.

Taking yo mamma's old Chevy van, sprayin' it pink and luring children into your creepy creepy creepy world.

Just remember......
Before jumping in da game, let's get one thing understood.
If you gonna sell dat ice cream, make sure it's fucking good.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Hey Gamecocks? Fuck you.

Steve Spurrier's fighting visors bit da big one tonight.
Holy Shit! I should have kicked a goddamn field goal!

So in honor of my alma mater, I give you this gem.
Captured on da dirty streets of Memfrica.

Hey South Carolina? Kentucky says, "Fuck you."

Monday, September 13, 2010

2 in the Pink, 1 in the Stink

Canadians be lovin dem some pink rides!
And by Canadian, I mean black people.

Found this beauty a Target yesterday when I was out shopping for stank weed, beer and cigs. Now that will score you da white women!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Finally the NFL Season is Here.

In honor of another history making season of the National Football League, that's FĂștbol Americano for all you latin cats, I give you this:
Now this looks like an hombre I'd like to have at my tailgate. You have to admire his honesty. Hell, skunk weed, beer, and cigs is the shopping list my wife hands to me every Saturday. You do have to question his judgement about adding holy water though, but to be fair, the man is homeless, his judgment is obviously questionable.

Fuck you Brett Favre!

Monday, August 30, 2010

Raiford's Hollywood.

If You Come To Memphis, This is Where We Would Party.
Raiford himself, captured by my wife.

It is really hard to describe Raiford's Hollywood to someone that has never been there. My first year here, when I didn't even want to go but was dragged, I was still at a loss for words. Nothing but 40s served, a stripper pole, light up dance floor, mirrored walls, balloons on the ceiling. It was like a dream of tacky awesomeness. I thought I was dreaming. Especially when I saw a bunch of cats I knew from the University of Kentucky. I went downtown when UK was in town for a bowl game in Memphis, was dragged to a obscure bar, and saw a bunch a cats I knew from a state away.
"What are y'all doing here?!"
"You can't come to Memphis without going to Raiford's!"
I was worried my testimony was biased so I lifted these reviews, so you know I could not possibly be making this up.

This is the best bar/club in the history of the world. No competitiion, no questions asked, hands down, the best.
I haven't been to Raiford's in a while, but this is a MUST VISIT if you ever go to Memphis. Allow me to enlighten you on it's awesomeness:
1) It's in a double-wide trailer with Christmas lights hanging all around
2) They only serve beer and only in a 40 oz bottle
3) It has a legit Saturday Night Fever dance floor with the light up squares in the back surrounded by mirrored walls and a stripper pole in the corner
4) There is a veritable pleather furniture sanctuary in the front where you can chill while drinking your 40, because there's no drinking allowed on the dance floor
5) They only play music from the 70s and 80s
I think I've covered all the bases. And I think you can see why this is the best place on Earth.

Beer only served by the 40? Check.

Owner/proprietor/DJ wearing a gold lame jumpsuit with an Afro and gold teeth? Check.

Firmly stated policy of "No discrimination"? Check.

Off-duty police lining the walls as security, armed to the teeth with handguns and ready to toss anyone who looks at them cross-eyed out the side door and into the parking lot? Check.

Oh, and the most important thing: A stretch limo with "Raiford's" painted on the side and flags flapping from poles attached to the hood, ready to whisk you to the nearest ATM because you have no cash and they don't take plastic? Check, check and check.

Oh yes, I have hitched a ride in the Raiford's limo to the ATM. Don't think it wasn't the greatest night of my life. If Raiford's has joined the 21st century and now accepts credit cards, I might go into a deep depression...

"Absolutely No Discrimination"

True to the motto painted on the wall on given any weekend, you would find any number of Memphis denizens on the dance floor or on the couches:Rhodes scholars, disco kings, pimps, drag queens,sorority girls, boys from the 'hood and visiting royalty from the 'real' Hollywood.

Immediately upon entering, your sense were assaulted by the colors and lights reflecting off mirrored balls and walls. Every wall painted white with day-glo dots and hand prints.

Where else could (or would) you go at 4:00AM on a weekend and find sugar shakin' ladies in shorts and painted jeans shimmying to the funkadelic sounds of the 70s'?

A good friend that owns an upscale dress shop downtown (you know who you are) had her wedding reception there. A wonderful event that I'll never forget.

You should go. Better yet, we should go.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Pink. Is my favorite color...

What's better than rockin' pink tribal tatto decals on your early 90's Celica? Rockin' pink boas from you rear view mirror, blowing in da wind.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Don't You Dare Let Yo Dawg Go #2 N My Yard


I drive by this thang 2 or 4 times a week, it's awesome.

Too bad it was built in spite.....

"Many blacks are not patriotic, and they are not patriotic because of the history of our nation," Mr. Williams said in an interview at the church, in the richly appointed sitting room he uses to receive visitors. "It's good for our people to know that the nation has something for them as well."